Airport Security

The American Airport - 3 fl. oz., in a bag, no exceptions. Take off your shoes, belt, earrings, etc. Anybody could be a terrorist.

The London Airport* - No, I can't let you back in! You could be a terrorist. Didn't you see the signs that were ill-placed and obscured by the crowds that said "no return beyond this point"? How do I know you don't have a bomb? I could lose my job. You could be arrested. Do you want to be arrested? Now, follow this maze, pick up the red phone, and call the desk, then wait an hour and somebody will bring you your luggage. I don't care if you're jetlagged, ticked off, tired and hungry. Show me an attitude, and that will prove you are a terrorist.

The French Airport - "Is this water bottle too large?" (approximately one litre, almost completely full because I just bought it for about 8 euros). "Oui, Madame." She places it in the bin and sends it through the scanner. Nobody says a word.

* Stansted - not necessarily indicative of all London airports